Throwback Thursday - Dorce Outside 2011
This week we look back 15 years to pretty much the only time Harpin’ came close to “going viral”
I know this feature is meant to be about past writeups for classic matches against Leinster/Ireland’s next opponents, and given the boys in blue face La Rochelle next weekend there certainly are plenty of those, but this Thursday for a rare bit of personal indulgence I want to look at a different type of post, one that I first published on January 3, 2011.
First it’s important to set the scene. It was the turn of the year from 2010 to 2011. Leinster only had the one H Cup to our name to Munster’s two, but still the signs were clear that the balance of power was very much in the process of shifting eastward.
This shift began with the iconic semifinal victory in Croke Park but it turned into a winning streak which was to continue right to the end of 2010 in what became known as “The Drive For Five” ahead of the October 2010 meeting.
Around the holidays I was out on a walk for exercise and playing on my headphones was a song that was all over the place at the time, Horse Outside by the Rubberbandits. Hardly an all time classic, but definitely both funny and catchy. Whilst on the walk my brain somehow managed to dig up the Dorce/Horse pun and imagined Gordon Darcy being outside Johnny Sexton most of the time he gets the ball, and from that moment I had to go home and try to work on a full set of lyrics.
This wasn’t the first time I had done this. Way, way WAY back in the day, my school had a “Song Contest” for new tunes to chant at the senior cup rugby matches so I entered a modification of the Police’s “Every Breath You Take” (‘Every kick you take / and every move you make / every pass you fake / every blind side break / we’ll be watching you’) and it came a respectable 2nd. To this day I contend I only fell short because the judges were all 6th years and I was merely in 5th ha ha…
Anyway then in 2005 I had a go at adapting the words to Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” to cover Irish History (“James Craig, RUC, Gerrymander policy / Bloody Sunday, IRA, what else do I have to say?”) and this was one of 5 nominated for what was at the time the inaugural Irish Blog Awards in the category “Post Of The Year”. Again I didn’t win, though this time it was probably because there were definitely better posts; cliché or no I was just happy to be nominated.
So we have another long time jump to the Rubberbandits re-work. Again I was methodical, printing out the actual lyrics first and then painstakingly altering them in an attempt to follow my own subject matter while not affecting the cadence of the original tune.
I posted it with neither bells nor whistles, but after a while I started getting emails and Facebook messages like “was this you?” and for a couple of weeks it was getting some serious traction around the socials. Some even tried to pass it off as their own work but I quickly put them back in their place. I heard someone say a printout was passed around the actual Leinster dressing room one day after training, but I wasn’t about to chase that up!!!
There was even an article in the Irish Times…
It wasn’t EVERYONE’S cup of tea…I got an angry twitter reply from a comedian called Danny Dowling (tried to find it, he seems to have deleted a lot) which basically accused me of stealing someone else’s work. I mean technically I did, but I never made a single penny from it and it was only a bit of fun. I certainly never heard from Blindboy himself and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t bothered.
A radio station contacted me asking if I wanted to sing it on air. I was absolutely definitely NOT going to do that, but I do regret not following up on suggestions that I actually record it for the laugh. Instead I just let the “virality” run its course and eventually the ruggersphere moved on to the next thing as it always does.
When it came to the “Drive for Five”, the streak was broken by a 24-23 victory for Munster at Thomond Park in April but of course that was quickly forgotten when Leinster evened the score on the star front courtesy of the famous HCup final in Cardiff in May.
Anywho…here it is. To this day I am still kicking myself for missing the very, very, VERY obvious pun “Ruggerbandits”. When I originally posted it, I was trying to push the name of the website so I went with “Harpinbandits” until Rugby Kino pointed it out. When you fully commit to Dadjokery like I have all my life, your shame derives not from the shocking puns themselves, rather the ones you missed…
Dorce Outside by Ruggerbandits
The name “Ruggerbandits” courtesy of Cian Ó’Muilleoir
I play in blue for Leinster, they call me Johnny Ten
I’m lookin for a chance to beat those Munster boys again
I know it won’t be easy, it won’t come as a gift
The loikes of Isa, Drico, Luke & Shags will hafta shift
But they aint getting nowhere without lineout scrum & maul
The loikes of Leo, Jamie, Cian & Sean to win the ball
And when I get that pass from Reds, and see what’s in my way
I’ll drop my shoulder, chorge ahead and this is what I’ll say
I’ll say…
Fock your Strings & Warwick
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Tuitupou
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Earls & Mafi
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
When I’m lookin for a try
I’ve got the Dorce outsoide
He went to school in Clongowes, then at Lansdowne he was great
He stepped up to the interpros in 1998
Tackles like a demon, blessed with blinding pace
When he got that try at Croker I slagged Ronan to his face!
We’ve got world class backs, down the OarDeeEsh
And our droive for foive showed em all who’s best!
So when we get to Thomond, and I’m facing Wian du Preez
I’ll look that loose-head up and down and give ‘im one of these
I’ll say…
Fock your Bull & Quinny
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Paul O’Connell
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Fla & Leamy
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
When I’m lookin for a try
I’ve got the Dorce outsoide
C’mon Gordon D’Arcy, cross that loine
Let’s play those fockers off the pork for yet another toime
And if you think my taunting makes me sound a cruel bloke
Don’t worry; when we all wear green we’ll laugh and have a joke
Cos if rugby had no banter, it wouldn’t be the same
Its fans know how to keep control unlike some other games!
And if Munster think they own this tune, they don’t and here is why -
I’ve just got these four words for them - “The Fields of ATHENRY”???!!!
EVERYBODY…
Fock your Strings & Warwick
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Tuitupou
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
Fock your Earls & Mafi
I’ve got Dorce outsoide
When I’m lookin for a try
I’ve got the Dorce outsoide
He’s gonna move inside...
He’s gonna cross that line...
He’s gonna beat yiz down in Thomond Pe-arrrrrk (Limerick accent)
lyrics © JL Pagano 2011
tune by Rubberbandits